red and black

A thought occurred to me today. The very spirit that makes me love New York City so much.. requires it to be brimming with crazy people. Hm.

Had you been there tonight you might know how it feels
To be struck to the bone in a moment of breathless delight..
Had you been there tonight you might also have known
How your world may be changed in just one burst of light..
And what was right seems wrong
And what was wrong seems right….
-Marius, Les Mis-

nyc

New York City. Avenue Q on Broadway. Frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity.. cheesecake at Junior’s.. parathi rolls at The Kati Roll.. cupcakes at Magnolia.. pizza at Grimaldi’s worth walking over the Brooklyn Bridge for (and walk it we did!). Dancing the night away with friends. One sugar coma later, I wonder how long it takes for a distended belly to go away *hic*.

mwah!

For those of you like me, with Chinese-speaking parents, please see this. I just got it for my parents and the quality is amazing. IPTV is the wave of the future! I think I may get it for my own home too.

My lovely ladies:

stick it in your ear!

Worst day ever.

Woke up this morning with a tickle in my ear. I just thought it was hair. When I got to the bathroom, I looked in the mirror and realized one of the three earrings in my left ear was missing. Went back to the bed and found the stud, but couldn’t find the post (the back of the earring). Guess where it was 😦

So I went to the hospital where I expected it to be a quick flush-’er-out procedure. The nurse took one look in my ear and gasped ‘Oh my stars!’, and then went to gather three of her nursey friends so they could stand around me, looking in my ear and gossiping about the novelty of it. Then two doctors came and had a peek.. no one had ever seen this happen before – could it be that rare? Anyhow, at a loss for what to do, they stuck this in my ear:

.

I took the picture while they had all scuttled outside the door to continue talking loudly about me. The picture doesn’t quite convey how very LARGE the darn tweezers were, but trust me. They were big. This might give some context as to just how big they were:

.

BIG, RIGHT???? It hurt like the dickens when they tried to pull the post out – involuntary tears sprung to my eyes with the shocking pain of it, which made a fat nurse press me sympathetically against her boobs. After jamming me in the head a bunch of times, they decided the tweezers weren’t working (YOU THINK?) and referred me to a ear-nose-throat specialist who couldn’t see me until 4pm.

I didn’t know what else to do so I went back to work. By this point, the post is resting against my eardrum, which hurt. A lot.

ENT dude sees me at 4 and after a number of colorful jokes about the ear not being a bad place to lose an earring (???), fishes it out rather easily and painlessly, while I lay on an examining table with a number of magnifying contraptions surrounding my head. If anyone in the Fairfax/Falls Church area needs to see an ear-nose-throat dude, this guy saved my life.

The offending culprit:

.

My eardrum still hurts, but I’m glad the day is over. Whew.

jamie lee curtis

Right, so I’ve had a request for my dream stories, and last night’s was a doozy.

I was at a professional sporting event with Mario, I think it was baseball. Jamie Lee Curtis had discovered who I was, and was trying to kill me. So while the fireworks were going off (during the.. fireworks inning…), we took the opportunity to sneak out of the side door and had made it to the parking lot laughing about how easy it had been to get away, when Nigerian dudes started chasing us in their colorful puma shoes. I ran really really fast but not as fast as a Nigerian is apt to run, and they caught me and laughed a mean and mocking South Afrikaan laugh punctuated by !s. Mario, however, disappeared at some point. We couldn’t find their master, who I believe to still be Jamie Lee Curtis, so we went to a pizza parlor instead.

Oh. Coolest product(s) evar. EVAR. Check it out, buy, and show me once you do please!
http://www.blurb.com

elodie

Spring nights on the patio, talking, laughing… the smell of rain in the air.. smoke from grilled meat and roasted marshmallows filling the air. Toasting with paper cups and huddling under sleeping bags to ward off the evening chill. Old friends sweet, new friends even sweeter. My darling girl has turned 25, lovely may she always be. Kisses to you, Elodie, you are my shining star!!

Pictures of boob grabbages and cow licks to follow, but unfortunately none were taken with my camera. 😦 Bye bye, public office.

What Dave said: You can always find a bum to buy you booze.
What I heard: I wanna find a bum with baggy boobs.

Other weekend events included visits to several European embassies, which was uber-cool. After seeing a few of them in a row, I have concluded that you can pretty much sum up the per capita income and general wealth of a country.. by the size of the chandelier hanging in their recieving room. Cyprus’s chandelier consisted of two pieces of crystal strung together with a coat hanger, while The Dot (aka Luxembourg) had a chandelier so grand that I took care not to stand directly beneath it for fear of death by crystal shards. Which is a problem that only the rich have, don’t you think?

Also, a delicious lunch for my beautiful mother. Happy Mother’s Day! Where would I be without you???

insomnia

Insomnia strikes again. 3am.

I just edited the funniest video of my friend’s Cuatro de Mayo party (we couldn’t wait til the Cinco rolled up) – Microsoft Moviemaker is quite a handy little tool! I was able to do text screens, transitions, overlay text, add sound.. I was also able to easily compress it to youtube-size. Quite surprising, and I never hear anyone talk about it. Hm.

So last night I had a dream that I won an award for inventing some kind of fancy jello, so they flew me to Scandinavia to accept my prize. I was really worried because my mom didn’t speak Scandinavian and I was afraid she would get lost. This is funny because 1) my mom didn’t go with me, and 2) Scandinavian isn’t even a language. When I got there, by bus, it was really hot so I went swimming. Except that I can’t swim so I think I might have died.

The night before, I dreamt that I was playing Win Lose or Draw with a few of my friends who have probably never been within 500 feet of each other in their lives. I lost roundly to the phrase “birthday cake” when I’m pretty sure that my teammate was drawing detailed sketches of a potato. After an argument about whether hobbit birthday cakes might resemble potatoes, we all went to prom together. How nice!

The night before THAT, I dreamt that I was housesitting for a friend who was going on vacation. Except it was my own house. And it was brand new – white carpet, no furniture. My vacation-going friend had just acquired a new pet turtle – the biggest turtle I had ever seen. It was the size of a small coffee table. And it was fast, like a small hyper dog. The stupid turtle was running around pooping everywhere, and his turds looked like chocolate chips. It was tootally pissing me off. I tried to catch it but it was a clever turtle that knew how to anticipate my moves and hide behind doors and such. Stupid giant turtles.

Less coffee, you think?

kapow!

Nothin says lovin like a roundhouse kick to the face! Owie… 😦

ded

5/4 – Flip-cuppin and pinata-whackin at Doogie’s Cuatro de Mayo party
5/5 – Steaks, watermelon, and watching the Mayweather/De La Hoya fight in style (thanks, Dan!)
5/6 – BBQ and losing at Spoons 😦
5/7 – Sick like the dickens

Bleh.

note to self

It doesn’t matter how convenient it is to swing by the ladies room on the way to the car… do not be seen leaving the restroom with a doggy bag.